Judgey

Recently I went to a local community pool to do some lap swimming.  Swimming has been my go-to exercise. It’s been particularly good because it is the only exercise that I know I can do without hurting my hip.

As I was swimming back and forth, I noticed that an older lady and her daughter got into the lane next to me.  I briefly glanced at them and thought, “They better not get in my lane!  They look fat and slow!”  A couple of minutes later, I noticed that the daughter was in my lane walking across to get in the other lane.  Had I not looked up, I would have run into her.  I was annoyed and righteous about my initial judgement.

I kept doing my laps, stopping after a few laps to catch my breath.  During one of my breath catching moments, the older lady made eye contact with me and said, “I really admire you!  You’re doing so great!  I’ve lost 80 pounds already and feeling so much better, but I want to do laps like you!”  I replied, “Thank you!  This is the only place that I feel like an athlete!”

As I continued to swim, I realized what a judgmental fool I am.  As we all are.  But most people like to pretend that they don’t judge.  What they don’t realize is that judging is basic human nature.  It is needed for our survival.

While continuing to swim, I recalled a recent conversation with a friend of mine where we talked about the unique spelling and pronunciation of a name of a mutual acquaintance.  I jokingly admitted that the name pissed me off because I couldn’t figure out how to pronounce it.  And due to the initial judgement about her name, I related to her as annoying.  We both laughed about it and realized how ridiculous it was, because the person was a very sweet individual.  Her name had nothing to do with who she really was, but I got irritated at just the pronunciation of her name and related to her differently because of it.

What’s important is not the judging, but what we do with that judgement.  Do we  continue to believe our opinion of someone just based on their look is factual?  Or do we realize that we are judging and give it up so we can actually get to know them?

Imagine what kind of world we would live in if people took ownership of their own judgements of others and released them so relationships can develop from actual quality of the interactions, not imagined judgements?